Looks like you

have the place

all to yourself

The cute man said

He fit a profile

I just described

to my Mom that

maybe I should try

Around 41

with a 401K

A grown ass adult

Who probably

wakes up at 6am

to go for a run

Owns a golden retriever

Fingers crossed no son

And hits his KPIs

whatever the hell

that means

Did I even say it right?

 

The way he spoke

sounded like a

dating profile

I would have skipped

But he had great hands

I wanted to take for a spin

And we had the same

taste in Indian Mexican fusion

which is apparently a thing

I must warn you

Don’t get too close

I smell

Just came from hot yoga

Threw in a smile

for safe measure

Yes, I know how to flirt

very well

 

Pretty please don’t see

the flakes on my scalp

from leaving hair dye

on too long

to cover my greys

Or the plainness

of my face

Mascara would have

blinded me

in downward dog

from the torrential downpour

spilling over my forehead

Also I haven’t showered

in two days

Sir, my human

is too on display

for a meet cute

of any magnitude

Let’s rewind.

Give me an hour

and we can take

it from the top?

 

Too late.

His name was in my phone

Eh, another chance

to not end up alone.